Double-Edged Sword
by Angel-kohai
Summary: "Please stay tonight." [Rated T]


**Double-Edged Sword**

* * *

I felt her naked hands cradle my face, firm with just a hint of softness. I grunted from the pain but otherwise kept still while the sakura blossom went to work on my wound; a long gash across the cheek deep enough to more than likely need stitches. There were a few cuts and bruises, which is normal for me, and usually not worth fussing over. I hissed - of course, having _disinfectant ran over _them made me aware that they were indeed there. If it weren't for her hold, I'd have moved away, only to have her reel me back in and continue yelling at me about my recklessness.

Yes, it may have been my fault for all the injuries I received, but why did she still tend to me like she did… like she owed me a debt? Perhaps she _did_ feel obligated to do so, and if her screaming her little head off until her voice gave out was any indicator on how she feels, I don't know what is. In the short time of knowing her, I've came to the conclusion that this girl was much too soft; her heart was way too big for the tiny person it was shoved into. I can't quite comprehend how she has so much compassion for a bastard like me.

I didn't deserve to be treated with such kindness, with such care I wasn't worthy of. _All I did was kill._ Hands permanently stained crimson from the lives of those guilty _and_ innocent. Without the slightest hint of remorse, I strike down whoever I'm ordered to.

No question. No doubt.

What else was I to do if this was all I knew?

All my life, things have been taken from me. I became bored with things being continuously ripped from my fingertips so I quickly adapted to the 'survival of the fittest' world. If I wanted to keep what I had, _I had to_ _fight_ _for_ _it_. If I wanted something, _I had to take it_. So fight I did and fight I still do.

Only difference between growing up and now is that I can make coin from such despicable acts. I live on a planet where throwing money around can get a man's head bashed in, and have the guy who did it let off the hook without the cops even batting an eye. Yet, despite knowing what I do, what I have to deal with, not once has she turned her back to me. Instead I'm welcomed with open arms and a warm smile, even if I have to endure curses, screams and lectures first. She meant well, that much I could see.

I'm not the cleanest one around but I know I would never do anything to harm her or put her in danger - if you don't count being within my vicinity danger enough…

Despite it all, the rose still blooms in the shadows, and that frightens me. Clearly her naivety was her biggest flaw, she trusted me far too easily. If not for the added bonuses she provided, who knows where she'd be by now, or if I'd have continued to hide her away and spare her life day after day.

It was a mutually beneficial "relationship" of sorts. She gets to keep breathing and I don't have to feel guilty plunging a knife into her back. Why that ugly fuck wanted such a beautiful creature dead was beyond me, but I've always sworn my loyalty to getting the job done for whoever threw the most money my way.

_But I couldn't just kill her._

May it be selfishness, obsession, kindness, or plain stupidity; I'd rather have her to myself than kill her off. Learning of the alternative to not doing as I said, the flower was thankful at first. Although, it wasn't long until it dawned on her what it truly meant. She would have to live as a completely different person and leave her previous life in the dust. There was also hiding her, basically under lock and key, to which only I would have access to. However, she didn't seem like she'd have wanted to go that route. It wasn't my original suggestion and to this day, I have no idea if keeping her like a forbidden treasure locked away in a chest was the best idea.

So, you can certainly imagine my surprise when the girl asked to stay by my side.

I was fully prepared to help her get a new identity and smuggle her out of the country, but she thought it would be safer to be with me. A horrible decision really, seeing as _I announced I was_ _there to kill her_. Knowing damn well she could be found, or I could be an asshole and sell her off to the next hitman in line, she absolutely _refused_ to go anywhere lest it be to meet death at his door.

"_I'd rather die than live elsewhere pretending to not have knowledge of my friends, my family…"_

At the time I saw no other choice but to agree to her request. Whether it was out of curiosity or greed, I'm still not sure, but as the days go by, I return and she's still here right where I left her. No complaints, no fuss. She's never changed her mind and tried to fight me or escape. However, I can't help but feel a pressure building up in my chest making it harder and harder to breathe as I unfairly get to marvel at the dazzling smile she flashes when I praise her handiwork or begrudgingly hear her cries when I show up beaten down. How much longer can I go on like this? All I do is worry what'll happen the day my contract find out I took his money without finishing the job.

And it when it _does_ happen, the both of us will have hell to pay. I'd be out of the job deemed unreliable if I'm not taken in for my crimes or go down by a conveniently planned murder. No doubt someone else will come along to tear away the rose's petals and crush her under their boot. Whatever she's done has this scumbag adamant about her untimely demise, putting a definite mark on her head.

Out of all the outcomes there are to be thrown at us, none of them are very pleasing or rewarding. If I'm somehow able to successfully ride this out until it blows over, how will I know she's safe indefinitely when she's let go? What's stopping her from upsetting the next rich fool? Would I have the heart to leave the flower in her pot until she wilts?

All these questions with no answers. Both of our lives now lie in the hands of fate.

Maybe that was why I sometimes found it easy to disregard the weight on my shoulder and maintain this facade. As long as she looked happy, I wouldn't feel as bad. I dare not ask her how she really feels, knowing she'd either lie or hit me with the truth I already knew. She could be blissfully ignorant about the world out there and I'll remain happily misinformed about her struggle to stay here. We all water plants and let them revel in the sunlight shining through the window. This should be no different..._and yet it is._

"Shadow?" Her melodious voice brought me back to the situation at hand. The way she called my name held concern, and the look she was giving me did no better to soothe what was left of my now aching heart.

She went to say something else but I shushed her by patting her head. "You've done a wonderful job like always, my flower. I believe you're getting better at this." So lost in thought, I hadn't felt the needle pierce my skin. In the mirror I admired the crude, unprofessional stitching; it would leave a nasty scar for sure, but I hardly care. I have plenty and there will be more to come.

I moved out of the bathroom, noticing she was following very close behind. Just as I finished gathering my things to move on with the lie I live, a very quiet sound reached my ears. I stopped short and looked over my shoulder at the sakura girl who visibly shrunk away from my questioning stare. She gazed at the ground, at the wall, at her shoes all while fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Signs of words waiting to be spilled confirming that the sound had come from her, I fully turned and crossed my arms.

"_Well?_ You know how much I hate it when you mumble."

The fidgeting ceased but she didn't look up. Yet the words she said, "_Please_ stay tonight," made the emotion in her voice sing of longing to have spoke up many, many times before.

Under any other circumstance, I would laugh and be on my way. However, the longer I observed her, so vulnerable and meek, I could only manage, "Why should I?"

"T-There's no telling when I'll see you next…" Half of a truth, but I knew it wasn't what she wanted to say.

I took a step forward, "_And?_"

"You might not come back…" she said slowly as I moved closer.

"_So?_"

"You should stay."

I stood before her now, her bowed head just barely touching my chest. "I'm only going to ask once more - _why should I?_"

"_Because I love you!_" she screamed with fiery jades staring me down, unmoved. The squeezing of my heart as we exchanged fervent kisses went ignored. The irregular beating as we explored every possible place on each other's bodies, and lost themselves within one another made me feel as if it would simply give out and pop.

It also made me finally realize that for the first time in my life, I loved and cherished a life aside from my own.

So, why did it feel like I've still lost?

The pain in my chest that followed was so massive that I even broke down in tears after everything was said and done, comforted and torn, to stay in the girl's warm grasp.

Come morning light, neither of us were there to greet the sun. Our bodies went unnoticed for months, having been given a silent and slow death from a poison I gave her before we became lost in the heat. A poison she agreed to take when I came to the realization that… I loved her and didn't want us to suffer.

I never forgot the day she confessed how she yearned to be with me. I simply refused, saying getting attached would create bigger problems than they were worth. Only as a last resort, a promise to her as much as it was to myself, that if or when I returned the feelings, I would put us out of our misery. I couldn't bare to love her and still trap her in the hell that was living in captivity. This way, at least, we could die somewhat in peace with the knowledge that we gave in to our desires and salvaged what we could from two very broken people. An outsider's tragedy, but for us it was salvation, having lost the battle in each other's arms.

With my last breath I whispered, "I love you," and then I was free from the double edged sword called love…

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_**I never intended for this to be for this fandom. It was an experimental piece where I purposely left out the names for the characters and had no dialogue. Still didn't stop me from imagining who this would fit and thus, I reworked it til 4am. It's...uncomfortably similar to Mortality which is ultimately why I debated **_not _**putting this up but y'know what's another fic, eh?**_

_**With that said, thanks for reading.**_


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